At Peace with Hospitality

Thanksgiving is coming and it begins the Christmas season. Smile when you read that, don't let yourself get overwhelmed. This is the time to love people, to embrace a peace beyond understanding. If you are someone who is opening your home for the holidays, be at peace. Remember that hospitality isn't about perfection, it's about humbly offering up a part of yourself and welcoming other people to partake. It's vulnerable, it's difficult, I know. I wrote about a perspective changing experience in this area here, if you want to read it.

My understanding of hospitality can be defined in three words, none of them English. For me, these are 3 of the words that answer the question of "What do I want to be/do when I grow up" for me.

Kuier

 

Kuier is an Afrikaans word that's direct translation is "to visit", but to the culture it has a deeper meaning. It means time spent chatting. It means being together and sharing in hospitality. It means to commune over food and drink. Sometimes it means to talk too late, eat until you're ready to bust and drink a little too much. It means all of these things because there is an inherent safety integral to kuier. It's time spent building history & engaging in relationship. Often, it's the way the networking happens in South Africa - naturally and organically, eating a lot of meat and sitting around the fire...or sitting on the river.

Ohana 

A Hawaiian word that many of us became familiar with in the Disney movie, Lilo & Stitch. "Ohana means no one gets left behind." I am so drawn to this larger concept of family - the family that we are born into, AND the family that we build, AND the family that we choose. My earliest memories revolve around all three of these types of family and I have spent much of my adult life searching for them again. I am working on an art piece to illustrate my understanding of this word and to remind me of the blessing Ohana is in my life.

The family I was born into, that I am connected to by blood and by adoption. They are a crew! My cousins make me smile just thinking of them. My aunts and uncle have helped me survive the most difficult years of my life, reminding me that I am strong. They know, because I share their DNA.


The family I built. Building a family is hard work! I am not a parent, so I don't know it in that way. But I know the work that goes into being available in those moments that you are distracted. Waking up to answer the phone when you are exhausted. Listening to stories that hurt your soul. Having to make the choice NOT to jump in and fix the problem. This part of my family is spread across continents and was and is being built in common goals, hilarious problem solving, and holding on to our faith by the skin of our teeth.

The family that I choose. This one holds pain as I acknowledge that this family is shattered, ended by divorce. But it would be foolish for me to erase the years of memories, laughter and joy. So, I embrace it as I weave the illustration.

Hygge

I have been delighted with this word since I first stumbled across it in a Facebook post from a friend. Because this friend's quirky nature always brings me joy, I looked deeper into it. I have found many definitions, but my favorite is "The Danish art of building a sanctuary of coziness, stirring the senses and enjoying the simple things in life."

Yes, that definitely speaks to me.

What picture does "sanctuary of coziness" spark in your mind? I'll admit, for me it brings Autumn. The smell of cider, an echo of smoke from burning leaves, a plethora of small blankets appearing in every room of my house come to mind as I imagine my sanctuary. Don't you want to come over and enjoy a cup of tea with me? You're welcome. We can sit next to each other, chat and enjoy our senses being stirred by the simple things in life. Just be prepared, my rug may need vacuumed, there may be dishes in the sink. I am far from a perfect housekeeper. You, however, are most welcome to enter into it all with me.

~Karlie