This Advent See the Person

This week our Advent Calendar focuses on El Roi, the God Who Sees. I love this name for God. So many of us just need to know that we are seen. We need a witness to our lives.

Frankly, that is something that divorce has really made me face up to. I have always been a girl, then a woman, who loves the spotlight. I am a natural performer, and I like that about me. When my ex-husband stepped out of my life, he also stepped out of the audience. It's an odd feeling for me to have no audience.

This year I had the opportunity to live and work for 4 months in Juneau, Alaska. It was awesome, truly. But I was living in a city where I knew exactly 1 person. Bit by bit my little group of people grew, but for most of my time there I would say that the circle of people who knew me by sight was barely in the double digits.

I still remember the day that I was walking downtown and I heard a car horn honk and someone called my name. It made my whole day. Someone knew me by sight and acknowledged that. Such a simple thing for her to honk her horn and call out, "Hello Karlie".

This week, celebrate Christmas by seeing the people around you. Acknowledge the crowds, by all means, but look for the person. With a smile and a Merry Christmas spread the joy of the season with eye contact and acknowledgement.

Propped up around my TV are Christmas cards from one of my cousins and two of my aunts. Just little notes that make me smile as I sit in my home 6 hours away from my family's town. Yesterday, my friend from Argentina asked me a question on Facebook about the art classes I've been teaching. Today I set up a date with my two oldest friends. They are all little things, but they remind me that I am sitting in other peoples' audiences and they are sitting in mine.

As we continue to prepare for Christmas Day, surprise a neighbor, a stranger, someone far away with the gift of being remembered.

Be Fruitful,
Karlie

Brainstorming for the Advent season

It's December 1, the beginning of the Advent season. This year I'm switching up some old traditions, revisiting some new ones and planning on soaking up the sights and sounds of the season. Christmas is a time for traditions, history, AND new experiences.

The last several years I've had the opportunity to create an Advent Calendar for my community, and every year it's been a little different. Every year I've re-created the wheel. I know, I know, re-inventing the wheel flies in the face of conventional wisdom. But hear me out.

Every year I've sat down and thought about the season of Advent. I've thought of my friends whose calendars seem to be filled to the brim with family, jobs, extended family, traditions, expectations (the list truly seems to be endless).

I look forward to the movies (classic AND cheesy) that I'm going to watch. As I look ahead, I smile at the wispy memories knocking at my heart. I think about how God sent Love Incarnate in a baby whose life was touched by laughter, love, sorrow, betrayal, tragedy and victory. I embrace the history. 

And then, I brainstorm. I LOVE to brainstorm and I think it's such a perfect word for the process I go through. Like most storms, it starts small, a little idea. That little raindrop of an idea leads to several more, and then each of those leads to more, until I'm standing in the downpour overwhelmed. 

And then I walk away. I walk away figuratively, but also literally. I walk away from pages of scrawled words, a Pinterest Board stuffed with images and often a stack of magazines and books. And I let my brain sift.This part of the process is still a mystery for me. I don't know how my brain sifts, but it does. 

And then there is the list making, the dreaming, the organizing, the imagining. And finally, I start filling in spaces. I start "creating".

I love this process, and it is one of my favorite forms of therapy. Like any good therapy session, things come out that aren't meant for everyone. For instance, "wreck a snowman" has never shown up on any of the Advent Calendars I've planned, but it HAS shown up in my brainstorming. Because in brainstorming, anything goes, and it is good and healthy to have a place where anything goes.

Anyway, back to re-creating the wheel.

I understand the time saving qualities of not re-inventing the wheel. I understand why this has become an old adage. But sometimes, re-creating the wheel keeps things genuine, fresh and pertinent. That's my goal. In many ways I am re-imagining my life and I want it to be genuine, fresh and pertinent.

This year, I kept returning to the names of God. He is shown to be so many things as we read through the stories given to us in the Bible. I started listing the names, and I could literally do a different name for every day of Advent and have a list left over. I wrote all of those names down, looked up definitions and corresponding scriptures. Man! I could have aced a test. See, this is the overwhelmed part of the brainSTORM. Fun, but too much.

So, my brain sifted. 

The final product is 25 days of activities that I hope are simple and full of meaning for anyone participating. The 25 days are organized into 3 1/2 weeks and each week is planned around a different name of God; Yahweh Yireh (The Lord Will Provide), El Roi (God Who Sees Us), Abba (Father), and Yahweh Shalom (God is Peace).

Always, we are seeking to build community, so Wednesdays are "Do it Together Days". The intention is to suggest activities that are more fun if you grab a friend to do them. As we build community it is important to train our eyes to look outside our circle of friends, and so Thursdays are "Donate Days". Rather than telling people where and what to give, I compiled a list of places that are always in need of help. Then each person can give where their heart is moved to give.

Something fresh for me to think on in this season that I love, but that holds so many memories and "booby traps" to navigate. What are some of your favorite traditions this time of year?

~Karlie

Anonymous Acts of Kindness

I held a secret belief for many years that my mother was magic. She had the ability to make any situation fun, to create costumes from everyday materials and to summon celebration out of the dreariest days. Fortunately, her magic is accessible to me and she shared her tricks freely.  I had a childhood full of fun and yet, I have never believed in Santa Claus. We always knew that Mama filled our stockings and that she and Daddy delivered the treasures that we unwrapped on Christmas morning.

However, we were well versed in the stories behind the myths, we loved the bell ringing Santas. I still remember the first year I was "too old" to sit on Santa's lap.  and every Christmas Eve she would recite "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" from memory.

One of the greatest things she did for my sense of wonder during the holidays is to tell me the story of the original St. Nicholas. I love that the myth of Santa Claus has it's roots in anonymous acts of kindness. Bishop Nicholas was a wealthy man, left a legacy by his parents when he was orphaned as a child. When needs arose in his community, he would deposit gold, food, whatever was needed anonymously at night. When his secret was discovered, Nicholas requested that his identity remain hidden. Nicholas lived in the 4th century and was eventually exiled and imprisoned for his faith.

Isn't that a rich history? I find the history of Santa Claus full of meaning and worthy of remembering. In our community Advent Calendar this year, we are taking the time to acknowledge the example of St. Nicholas. In church this Sunday we were given candy canes to randomly bless people with, and we have the challenge to find our own Anonymous Acts of Kindness.

I'm looking forward to...well, I guess I can't tell you ;)!

At Peace with Hospitality

Thanksgiving is coming and it begins the Christmas season. Smile when you read that, don't let yourself get overwhelmed. This is the time to love people, to embrace a peace beyond understanding. If you are someone who is opening your home for the holidays, be at peace. Remember that hospitality isn't about perfection, it's about humbly offering up a part of yourself and welcoming other people to partake. It's vulnerable, it's difficult, I know. I wrote about a perspective changing experience in this area here, if you want to read it.

My understanding of hospitality can be defined in three words, none of them English. For me, these are 3 of the words that answer the question of "What do I want to be/do when I grow up" for me.

Kuier

 

Kuier is an Afrikaans word that's direct translation is "to visit", but to the culture it has a deeper meaning. It means time spent chatting. It means being together and sharing in hospitality. It means to commune over food and drink. Sometimes it means to talk too late, eat until you're ready to bust and drink a little too much. It means all of these things because there is an inherent safety integral to kuier. It's time spent building history & engaging in relationship. Often, it's the way the networking happens in South Africa - naturally and organically, eating a lot of meat and sitting around the fire...or sitting on the river.

Ohana 

A Hawaiian word that many of us became familiar with in the Disney movie, Lilo & Stitch. "Ohana means no one gets left behind." I am so drawn to this larger concept of family - the family that we are born into, AND the family that we build, AND the family that we choose. My earliest memories revolve around all three of these types of family and I have spent much of my adult life searching for them again. I am working on an art piece to illustrate my understanding of this word and to remind me of the blessing Ohana is in my life.

The family I was born into, that I am connected to by blood and by adoption. They are a crew! My cousins make me smile just thinking of them. My aunts and uncle have helped me survive the most difficult years of my life, reminding me that I am strong. They know, because I share their DNA.


The family I built. Building a family is hard work! I am not a parent, so I don't know it in that way. But I know the work that goes into being available in those moments that you are distracted. Waking up to answer the phone when you are exhausted. Listening to stories that hurt your soul. Having to make the choice NOT to jump in and fix the problem. This part of my family is spread across continents and was and is being built in common goals, hilarious problem solving, and holding on to our faith by the skin of our teeth.

The family that I choose. This one holds pain as I acknowledge that this family is shattered, ended by divorce. But it would be foolish for me to erase the years of memories, laughter and joy. So, I embrace it as I weave the illustration.

Hygge

I have been delighted with this word since I first stumbled across it in a Facebook post from a friend. Because this friend's quirky nature always brings me joy, I looked deeper into it. I have found many definitions, but my favorite is "The Danish art of building a sanctuary of coziness, stirring the senses and enjoying the simple things in life."

Yes, that definitely speaks to me.

What picture does "sanctuary of coziness" spark in your mind? I'll admit, for me it brings Autumn. The smell of cider, an echo of smoke from burning leaves, a plethora of small blankets appearing in every room of my house come to mind as I imagine my sanctuary. Don't you want to come over and enjoy a cup of tea with me? You're welcome. We can sit next to each other, chat and enjoy our senses being stirred by the simple things in life. Just be prepared, my rug may need vacuumed, there may be dishes in the sink. I am far from a perfect housekeeper. You, however, are most welcome to enter into it all with me.

~Karlie

How to host an IMperfect tea party

I am a girl who loves tea and loves a party.  So, obviously, I adore Tea Parties.

Here's the thing, though, I have a basic disbelief in PERFECT in this life.  So, all of these articles and posts about hosting the "perfect tea party" don't really ring my bell.  They have some great ideas, some really fun ideas, but a hostess that is stressing over perfection is never my idea of a good time.  Especially if I am that hostess.

My umbrella rule is streamline the non essentials and have fun with the essentials.

#1. Dress code is up to you, or better yet, up to your guests!  People are more fun when they are comfortable, and each of us has a "dress" that we are most comfortable in.  My friend Sasha (check out her amazing photos on her Facebook page, Natural Portraits) loves living her life in jeans and a T shirt and doesn't feel anything is REALLY worth a different clothing option.  Me, I love a costume and my mood dictates my wardrobe.  Neither of us care what YOU are wearing, though.

This video from Harney and Sons is a great one for the diversity of the Tea Table.

#2. Teaware with a story instead of the "perfect set."  I have 27 teapots, and only a few of them are accompanied by sugar, creamers and more than 2 tea cups and saucers.  I love setting out a selection of mismatched teacups and allowing everyone to choose the cup they will drink from.  Delicate china cups with handles sit next to sturdy pottery Japanese style cups, and each of them calls to a different character in my tribe.  I love that.  (I also love that I don't have to worry about labeling the cups because they are all different.)

My "designed for me" shelf from Tyler at Dovetails & Tenons

#3.  Before I talk about decorations, it is important you know that I am, at heart, a theater person.  I love staging and setting the atmosphere, and I am very good at it.  For 17 years my identity was wrapped up in being one of the best at it.  So, by all means, decorate for your party.  But, please, don't stress over that process, and by all that is holy don't go broke for it!

You want your decorations to help you set the mood, so there is no one answer for what is best.  However, 1 or 2 focal pieces can really set it up for you.

This is the centerpiece for a Murder on the Orient Express Tea for my book club.  Just a few pieces from the book really set the scene.

One thing that helps me with my Hodge Podge approach to Teaware is having a simple "canvas" to lay it all out on, unifying place mats...I think we'll save the details of decorating for another post.  I could easily run down the rabbit hole talking about this one ;). Let's just say that a solid tablecloth and simple place mats allow your teaware to shine.

#4.  Food can be simple, themed,

My homemade CranApple pie, rustic and delicious.

fancy or potluck.

Delicious Rhubarb Cake from Cafe Europa, their bakery menu is a win every time.

However YOU want to do it.  I will say, for me, I prefer not to do potluck at a tea party.  I prefer to have things arranged, out of sight, and as plated as possible before people begin arriving.  It helps with the "not stressed" hostess thing.

This trio of desserts was served at Tea Market's Spring Afternoon Tea, everything is plated and ready to be delivered when the tea is served.

#5.  Tea.

A delicious shop blend from Tea Market, Shalimar marries a darkly oxidized oolong with berries, citrus and other fruit.

Honestly, I'm prejudiced here (I also think I'm right ;).  Spend the time to find good, quality tea.  Engage with the people in your local tea shop.  Dip your toe into the world of loose leaf tea, it's a delicious journey.

My pro tip is to have the dry tea leaves portioned out and sitting beside the tea pot(s) you are going to brew before the party begins AND to have an electric kettle for heating the water.  They are so fast!

The general rule for amount of tea is at least 4 cups of tea for each guest.  If you make too much, no stress, you'll have DELICIOUS iced tea later.

Just a quick note, as you are "dipping your toe" into the loose leaf tea world remember that good quality tea makes good, quality ICED tea too.

To sum up, remember that a tea party is a moment to enjoy your guests and the Party is the excuse for it.  It isn't about all of the picture perfect moments, or even delicious tea.  It is about taking time in life for a "purposeful pause" and sharing it with people you enjoy.

be fruitful,
Karlie