A Crappy Dinner Party for Epiphany

Luminaries lined the sidewalk and lit the stairs, the chatter of women filled my dining room, and crushed red peppers and cinnamon scented the air. My dinner party had begun.

As I looked for ways to celebrate Christmas in different ways this year, I embraced the 12 Days of Christmas. The final moment for me was this dinner party, several days after the busyness of the season. I invited a mixed group of women to celebrate a holiday most of them were unfamiliar with.

 Have you read How to Throw a Crappy Dinner Party (on purpose)? I recommend it. You see, the "flaw" in my plan was that my dinner party was on January 6 (Epiphany) after a full day of work, I worked 2 jobs on January 7, and I flew to Hawaii early on January 8. I really wanted to have this party, though, so embracing the "Crappy Dinner Party" philosophy seemed like the way to go. The philosophy is that you don't do anything extra, you just have friends over. You don't dress fancy, you don't decorate, you don't do extra cleaning. You just open your home and enjoy people.

Here's the thing I love about a "crappy dinner party", it's about fellowship not performance. I have signs in my house reminding me that "Life doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful" and "Live by Grace not Perfection," but I forget.  I love having people in my home, I love setting the scene, I'm a theater girl after all. The thing is, this party wasn't about everyone thinking I was a great party planner or a great decorator. It was about changing my Christmas expectations and sharing something beautiful with my friends. And the "beautiful thing" wasn't something that I created, it already existed.

Did I get all the Christmas decorations put away?

No.

But they are all stashed away in the guest bedroom.

Did I do extra cleaning beforehand?
No.
But I did sweep up all of the pine needles from my Christmas tree and load the dishwasher.

Did I run around doing last minute preparations?
No.
But I did do some prep work during "nap time" earlier that day, making sure the symbolic elements were ready.

Did I stress over details?

Yes, a little..

But a little less angst every time.

Did everything go as planned?

No.

But with this group, I could laugh at my mistakes.

Things I forgot:

• Kale for the Zuppa Tuscana. It was prepped, ready to go, in the refrigerator. I didn't remember it until one of my friends said, "Have you ever tried this soup with kale." She felt bad for asking when I told her why I was laughing. But I truly love that something so obvious slipped through the cracks. Just so you know, Zuppa Tuscana is yummy without kale. Also, my Epiphany table had not one vegetable on it.

• Silverware. No, really, I forgot the silverware. I have a set of nice silverware that I use whenever I have people over (mostly, so I know that I'll have enough silverware for everyone), and I couldn't find it. Then I started talking about not finding it. Then more people arrived. Then I never circled back around to it. Until we were all at the table. I managed to scrounge up enough spoons to eat with, and we moved on with the evening.

I didn't buy special plate settings, but I am blessed to have inherited Mama's 12 Days of Christmas plates and Mommom's white and silver china. The hodgepodge look works in my gypsy home, so I mixed and matched some magi from different nativities and "lit" the battery candles.

The meal was simple - oranges (symbolic of the gold brought by the magi), soup & bread, Wassail to drink (served in teapots - with bourbon if you wanted to add some flair), and a traditional French King Cake from Veloute` (local KC french catering company, check them out).

I think it was a beautiful evening full of laughter, chatter and fellowship. It was an Epiphany Kuier (check here to see what I mean by that word), my favorite kind of event.

Some of my favorite parts...

My friend Krissy came! She is, admittedly, a picky eater. She'll tell you that herself. This is how the conversation went:

Krissy: "I'm going to come to your party."
Me: "Yay!"
Krissy: "Can I bring anything?"
Me: "I don't think so"
Krissy: "Like food for me."
Me: "Oh right. Yeah, you should do that."

She is always so much fun, I'm so glad that she didn't let food stand in her way.

Do you see her hat? I found traditional British crackers on sale at The New Dime Store in Brookside. Each one had a joke, a fact, a toy and a crown - perfect to acknowledge the journey of the magi.

I love that I found a way to use some of my teapots. Also, do you see the clove studded oranges that keep popping up in the pictures? Mama and I used to make these every year and it was a fun, relaxing thing to do while I watched movies. I made them to represent the journey the magi made, but they smell really good if you leave them in a bowl or boil them on the stove, like the gifts of frankinsense and myrhh.

But my very favorite thing was the conversation that flowed through the meal and afterwards. I sat in my chair and talked, and listened to other people talk and saw my friends laughing or leaning in to really listen. It was beautiful.

At one point in the meal I interrupted the conversation to say, "Hey guys, I've got nothing else after this. Feel free to leave whenever you need to." Then the conversation continued. At one point after the meal I pulled out my suitcase and began to pack for Hawaii, while the conversation continued. And finally I said, "Okay, you gotta go I have stuff to do."

That's the sign of a good time, kicking people out at the end. ;)